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Welcome to the Twilight Zone

Do I consider myself shallow or vain?

If you had asked me this question a few weeks ago, the answer may well have been a resounding “definitely not”. However, I am now forced to confront the terrible truth – I most certainly am!

Whilst I am pleased to report I had a routine hair, pedicure and manicure appointment on Friday 13th of March, which will see me through for a while, the results of these appointments do not last forever and I contemplate the disintegrating results with horror and dread! Fortunately, as my hair is longer, I at least get the option to tie it up as the roots sprout through, the ends begin to fray and the layers grow out!

I cannot say the same for the other beauty treatments which I have taken for granted for so many years, and due to advancing age I find I rely on with increasing regularity. I particularly dread the inevitable peeling off of my beloved acrylic nails – I have not seen my own natural keratin for more years than I care to remember and I suspect the results of acrylic removal will be quite horrific! I feel that many husbands and partners (including my own) who previously did not understand and/or begrudged the cost of a beauty regime will have the scales removed from their eyes in the not too distant future! My husband gallantly says he loves me whatever, but I suspect the prospect of living with an unpolished ogre will be a reality he is not as comfortable with as he thinks!

  • Hair like Worzel Gummidge

  • Feet like pig's trotters

  • Hands like sandpaper (not helped by the endless washing and moisture-stripping antibacterial liquid and wipes)

  • Nails like walnut shells; bitten and chewed with worry and anxiety

  • The return of the mono-brow

  • Any number of superfluous facial (and other) hairs …. There is a limited amount even the most expertly used tweezers can achieve!

The list is seemingly endless and growing; the results of isolation are indeed becoming horrific! Are we that shallow that, once released back into the outside world the first place we will be beating a path to is the hairdresser/beautician/nail bar (not necessarily in that order)? I suspect that if we are totally honest with ourselves the answer is a resounding “yes”. I confess that this will certainly be me! I am starting with the nail bar for sure, and at the earliest opportunity.

Some of you may feel this is a sexist blog post? Personally, I prefer the word “honest”! Also, whilst we are being honest, my son takes longer to get ready to go out than I do, spends more time in the shower than any woman I know and uses industrial quantities of product notwithstanding current supply difficulties. He has waxing, cutting, shaving, primping and preening high on his agenda. I suspect that many other mothers, girlfriends and wives could say the same. So, this is definitely not a sexist article at all!


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